Hi, So lately I’ve been feeling a little more down and blue then usual and that’s normal for me I have highs and lows but this time it’s different. Lately all my friends are getting into relationships or at least having someone like them while I’m just getting lonely and more distant.
Our prom is in like 6 months and I know that seems far away but prom at our school is a big deal and all my friends have already got their prom dates and dresses and are all excited to go. Me on the other hand, I have this hole in my chest and a voice in the back of my mind saying no one will ever like me more then a friend. I know at prom I’ll get ditched by my friends and I’ll spend my night sat at the buffet table eating my weight and feelings in cold pizza and cocktail sausages, that is if I even go.
It makes me incredibly sad to see everyone falling in love and finally being happy with someone while I am inevitably going to die alone. My Crush only knew i exsisted until this year and even then he dislikes me or thinks I’m an absolute weirdo, which I am.
I hate love. I hate what I can’t have. I hate him. I hate relationships. I hate cuddling. I hate kissing. I hate hand holding. I hate it all. Because I’ll never have it.
My parents graced me with the ugly gene and the irritable and annoying gene, therefore I have come to conclusion I will be alone for the rest of my life. I know I’m only 15 and I have so many more years ahead of me to find someone who loves me but I don’t think I will. Im too antisocial the only way I meet people I through school, which is over in 6 months, unless someone remotely nice or anot an asshat moves to our school and has the slightest bit of interest in me I’ll die alone.